You Know You're Obsessed With Wrestling When
by RyanHekk
Summary: It's been a while since someone did one of these. These jokes may be outdated, but the best I've got. Hope you enjoy.


**You're obsessed with wrestling if...**

- Every time you watch the movie 2001 you wonder why Flair never sued them for stealing his music  
- You wonder if the wrecks in Nascar are works  
- In a political debate at your school, you call Bob Dole a face, Al Gore a heel and Bill Clinton a tweener  
- In your resume under experience you write "I'm the best there is the best there was and the best there ever will be"  
- You carry a roll of tape in your underwear "just incase"  
- You have a turkey vulture for a pet  
- You buy the latest Sting album wondering how he can sing if he can't even talk  
- You suspect your best friend is just setting you up for a heel turn  
- You make the football team & instead of ordering a letter jacket you wear a Flair robe with your schools logo to class thereafter  
- Go through an airport security line and you let them check everything except your boots....  
- You pose in a photo with a few friends and instinctively flash the "Four Horsemen" sign.  
- You begin to shake someone's hand in public but then hesitate to look for the crowd's response.  
- You get into a real fight and you blade.  
- You do the "Flair Strut" into a meeting at work....  
- When you talk to the boss, every other phrase is "Wooooo!"...  
- You are at work and accidently slip and fall against a table or chair, and wonder if you should "blade"...  
- Your boss calls you in for a meeting on cutbacks, and you insist on talking about YOUR workrate.....  
- You go to shake someone's hand at work, and pull back at the last second to smooth down your hair and say "Woooooo!!!"....  
- Someone else falls against a table/chair... and you start screaming "You're extreme! You're extreme!"  
- During someone's retirement ceremony, you are asked to speak...you get up and talk about the person's average size, average speed, average carpentry skills... and then talk about how he parlayed it into a great career.... you then talk about how he can't even open a beer anymore with his left hand... and then proceed to tell a story about a fat broad slapping him on the back in a bar after work...etc.. Etc..."  
- You scream at the top of your lungs and you don't know why :)  
- You start off every conversation with " ooooooooooh, what a rush "  
- You die you moustache blond while leaving your beard black.  
- After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back  
- You constantly deny that Brian Christopher is your son  
- After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back. After that, he backstabs all his friends and you let him into your group.  
- Your job is your gimmick  
- Someone you work with leaves for another job, with more money; you accuse them of being disloyal to the fed that made them a star.  
- A promotion at work is seen as getting a push.  
- Your first reaction on seeing the Diana crash was "She's hardcore"  
- Every secret is "kayfabe".  
- You claim that your favourite sports teams were "jobbed".  
- You call any kind of fan a "mark".  
- You flex in front of every mirror.  
- You and your friends develop a secret hand signal.  
- You won't go into a pet store for fear of lemmings.  
- You post to RSPW.  
- You chokeslam your cat.  
- You rack your neighbour's dog.  
- If you feel the need to do a Flair impersonation before going on Space Mountain.  
- You never sit in any chairs without checking them (ala wwf bluechair) or wcw balsa wood chair; for fear your weight might collapse it.  
- You tell your cat "Meow one more time, and you can forget the 'Fancy Feast' man, 'cause I'll open up a can of 'Whoop Ass' and see how you like the taste of that!"  
- You see an American flag, and immediately cross your eyes, stick your tongue out, give big thumbs up and yell, "HOOOOOO!!! Tough guy!"  
- You dream about splashing your boss from the top of your cubicle walls.  
- You win an award and immediately spray paint "nWo" on it.  
- You rate women on a scale of Chyna to Sunny.  
- You attend a graduation, and yell "Ooooooh yeah!" when 'Pomp and Circumstance' plays.  
- You tell your significant other, "Not tonight, I'm watching [Raw/ECW/Smackdown]"  
- You start your own e-fed... with you as the only participant, and then try to out-book McMahon and Bischoff.  
- You buy your four year old daughter a Ric Flair doll instead of Ken to go with her Barbie collection  
- You wake up in the morning rising from the dead like the Undertaker rather than just rolling out of bed  
- Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault it.  
- You buy a HBK doll to go with Ken  
- You clothesline people in the supermarket for no real reason.  
- You t-bone suplex your kids to bed  
- You greet your in-laws by jumping around pointing to your crotch ala Syxx.  
- You walk around with a towel on your head and you wipe your feet on invisible mats before you enter any room  
- You shatter your knee-cap giving your friend a Tombstone Piledriver on concrete  
- You're not embarrassed anymore to go into a store and rent a wrestling video.  
- You won't leave the bathroom until they play your theme music.  
- You walk into a party you tell them to "cut the music"  
- You walk into a bar and barge in the middle of a group of Mexicans talking and shout "Arriba La Raza!"  
- You get into a public place and, for some sort of things you hear some people booing at something and you think they're booing at you and you start yelling at the people to shut up.  
- You elbow smash your dog & turn him/her over for the three count  
- You start naming your pets after wrestlers. I.E. We have a cat named Kitty Kind and a new puppy named Dude Dog.  
- You're getting busy with your woman, and for some reason it's not as good as it usually is, so you start chanting "BO-RING, BO-RING"... and you figure it's got something to do with her workrate  
- You borrow $50,000 from the bank & start a carpentry business, & make all your chairs out of balsa & your tables weak in the middle in hopes that the PE will hear & subcontract out to you.  
- You give the AA thumb across the throat bit to your boss when going in for job reviews.  
- You wear Macho Man sunglasses during job interviews.  
- For a Christmas present, you give your mom a pair of ring boots.  
- You actually believe in your heart of hearts that the "Flair Flip" will work every time he tries it, & cry yourself to sleep when it doesn't.  
- You think Lady Di is probably really dead, but that Mother Theresa might be doing a really convincing work.  
- You think John the Baptist Bladed.  
- You try to convince your friends that regular sports are works, & wrestling is not.  
- Whenever a limo goes by, you shout Woooooo hoping for a response from "The Man".  
- You are late for work every Tuesday, cause you have to watch the tapes from the previous night again "just 1 more time".  
- You climb chain-link fences and do Superfly Splashes off them-- in your sleep...  
- You find yourself singing Grab them cakes and Real American  
- Your four year old gives the Superfly sign before she jumps on you  
- Your first instinct was that Holyfield bled the hard way versus Tyson  
- You keep waiting for run-ins during boxing matches  
- While cleaning the garage you find old wooden chairs and first think of Afa jobbing to Atlas and Johnson  
- You buy your fat mother-in-law some yellow polka dot "Dusty Rhodes" shorts.  
- A trip to the barber with your friends turns into a "hair vs. hair match".  
- Your loved one hits the switch at night and you attack, thinking it's a "lights out Texas death match".  
- You wear a robe and tights to your job at Wendy's.  
- You post a million times to RSPW about how much better you are than everyone else.  
- You throw a coke at Eric Bischoff/nWo and ......it hits the TV screen.  
- You think a fashion statement is a black trench coat  
- You come up with move named "the atomic elbow drop" which is executed off the 3 meter spring board at a swimming pool (have to get the extreme height)  
- Your wife asks to try out a move on YOU after just seeing it done on TV.  
- Your wife makes you sit on the end of the bed/swimming pool to practice her flying cross body move since you don't have a real ring.  
- You are talking to a car sales person and they mention leather interior and all you can think of is Hogan without any skin.  
- You see the clown at McDonalds and can only think of Doink and Dink.  
- Your wife calls you the "Living Legend", but even better when she calls you Jake "the Snake" and your name ain't Jake!  
- You watch Star Search stand-up comedy acts, and say the first guy had a good workrate, but the second guys was as good with high spots galore. Then you say this battle was a 4 star match, but Ed McMahon's a terrible  
announcer and the crowd had minimal heat.  
- Before you leave your friends yard, you take his head and slam his chain link fence on it.  
- You feel obliged to leave a restaurant with two toothpicks (one in mouth, one behind the ear) and do your best Scott Hall impersonation.  
- You win a fight and afterwards you start posing  
- You were a kilt even though your not from Scotland after sex you tell your loved one "I'm the best there was the best there is and the best there ever will be" or "and now that's perfect"  
- At the moment of a orgasm you say "oh Yeah dig it"  
- After sex, you say "and that's the bottom line"  
- When eating someplace were you don't like the food you say "I snack on danger I dine on death"  
- You think Godzilla will be played by Yokozuna  
- You think earthquakes are caused by John Tenta  
- You call the doctors office asking for ether Steve Williams or Pritchard and for a dentist you ask for IssacYankum DDS.  
- You complain because your lover had a low workrate and feel you carried her/him through it.  
- You think Elvis being dead is an angle  
- You call yourself "Immortal"  
- You have a fight but charge people to watch it.  
- You start hi-fiving people you don't know  
- After winning a fight you say "(insert name)3:16 just whipped your ass"  
- You give up on ever getting a girlfriend because you are convinced that all of the finest women are at Disney world waiting in line to ride space mountain.  
- At a sporting event that foreign countries are competing you yell USA USA.  
- At a boxing fight you tell everyone to stop marking out cause it's just an angle.  
- Whenever you see an African American you give the nation "fist in the air" sign.  
- When a female says she's going to put on her face and you expect Sting paint or a mask to be worn when they get back.  
- Your significant other buys you a plastic WCW World Champ belt and you actually wrestle to be able to declare who the "Champ" of the house is!  
- You buy colored hair spray and pick out theme music for the above said match!  
- You play "name that wrestler" like you play "name that tune" in as few notes from their theme music as possible.  
- You start noticing that the "sons" of guys you used to watch in the 70's are now some of the stars. (Dory & terry funk)  
- You vividly remember the first time you ever met a wrestler outside of the venue in public.  
- You remember when both you and Arn Anderson had hair!  
- McMoney talks about a black champ and you mention Rufus in under 3 seconds.  
- You call your buddy on the phone before/during/after any TV wrestling show and discuss it for at least 30 minutes in complete detail including how all of the events will tie together at some PPV that has not even been booked.  
- You make vacation plans as to not to miss any wrestling if a TV with proper channels is not accessible  
- Your three year old says "Daddy, let's play WCW"  
- You spit out your gum and slap it  
- You punch your friends, but stomp the ground to make it sound louder.  
- You call yourself a "Jet flyin', limousine riding, son of a gun."  
- You ask a girl out by telling her she wants to ride space mountain  
- You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason  
- You walk down the hallway of school like the bushwackers.  
- Before turning off a light/TV/computer you give the sign for a Flatliner.  
- You carry around a portable tape player for entrance music.  
- You finish every sentence with 'Whooo!'  
- You sit at home all day refusing to do a job.  
- Every time you write an exam, you tell the professor that you're the highest ranking official, and if you don't get an A, he's suspended.  
- Whenever you pass through customs, you tell the Controller you're from "Parts Unknown".  
- You go from town to town, making new groups of friends every few months, just so you can shock them by turning "NWO".  
- You carry a roll of tape in every conceivable piece of clothing..."Just In Case"  
- Whenever someone accidentally knocks you down in a public place, you shout "Come on Ref! He pulled My Hair!"  
- At Sunday dinner, you only get to eat if you "Tag In".  
- You carry a foreign object in your underwear.  
- When you don't have an assignment completed, no attack your teacher/boss to get yourself intentionally disqualified.  
- You offer a briefcase full of money to someone to turn on his best friend.  
- You offer $10,000 to anyone who can body slam you.  
- You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cage grudge match could settle things.  
- Your bathrobe has your name on the back, in sequins.  
- You carry a 2x4 and American flag everywhere, call everyone "tough guy" and punctuate every sentence with "HOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
- Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper.  
-When you do well on an exam, you stand up and yell, "TooSweeeeeeetttt!"  
-After an exam, when the professor tells you to hand in your papers, you inform him "The only thing I'm going to hand into you is a can of whoop ass, son!"  
-You refer to studying as academic "hangin' andbangin'" and you tell people how you "hung andbung" all weekend  
-When you go out with your girlfriend to the movies, and you're looking for a seat, you say "insert girlfriends name here! Down that aisle!"  
-When your professor messes up during a lecture, you call him a "ham 'n' egger who only got a push because of political reasons"  
-You demand the lights be turned off before you enter a room, then suddenly clicked on once you reach the middle.  
-When you answer a question correctly in class you say "BANG!"  
-You strut to the board and say "Whoo!" before working-out the problem  
-You write "nWo" on all your boss's overheads while he's not looking  
-You have theme music while entering for your thesis presentation  
- Your entrance music plays every time you enter the office.  
- You see a fight in the street and call the moves.  
- You nick your finger preparing your lunch, then think you have just bladed.  
- Whenever you punch anyone you use your arm and stamp on the ground simultaneously.  
- Whenever you see a ladder you climb it to retrieve the belt.  
- Any Japanese or Mexican colleagues are praised for their workrate.  
- You paint your face and don't speak to your co-workers, then come to work with a bird.  
- Or... you sit around work all day with this "Gen-X" attitude...and when someone talks to you, you start spouting off bad poetry!  
- When your at the gym you play your belt like a guitar i.e. Hogan  
- Whenever you bet someone down you spray paint on there back  
- When you're in trouble your friends come out and beat the Hell out of the other guy  
- You tell your friends that they are so sweeeeeeeeeeet  
- When you continuously say one or all of the following: whoooo, tooo sweeeet, that's the bottom line, extreme, oooooh yeah, and many different uses of the word weasel.  
- Do you whistle the NWO theme song as you have sex?  
- Can you remember the last time you didn't watch wrestling on Monday night?  
- You make your own championship belt out of cardboard and glitter and wear it everywhere you go.  
- You do a "Jerry Lawler entrance" i.e. turn the lights off, and when they come back on your in the room............at a dance.  
- Every time you step outside your house the first thing you do is make your favourite wrestlers hand gesture.  
- You have to smash a Pepsi can on your head before you can play WCW vs. the World.  
- When you put your kids to bed, you tell them to "Rest in Peace"  
- At the climactic moment of passion with your partner, you scream,"WHOOOOOOO!"  
- When the boss yells at you, you get three of your buddies and punk him in the parking lot.  
- Someone at a party tells a funny joke and you accuse him of trying to get over.  
- Anytime anybody asks you a question, you "grab the mike" and yell, "MEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEENEE"  
- You enter every room through the rafters with your son's voice introducing you.  
- You can't walk into a room without Jimmy Hart singing your theme music.  
- You can't enter a room without a large pyrotechnic display.  
- Out of nowhere, you kick your boss and give him the Stone Cold Stunner.  
- You talk in a third person like, "'cause [SC] (name) said so"  
- You throw paper and water bottles at your enemies, because they're acting like a heel.  
- While playing a sport, your friend gets injured and you say it's a work.  
- You see a guy a dancing and posing, and start to chant "He is Gay"  
- You create different personas and believe they are different people.  
- You see a Canadian or foreigner; you start to chant "USA!" "USA!"  
- You post the same thing over and over on RSPW to make your point.  
- You show up at work in your everyday clothes and say "I don't need any stupid gimmicks to work!"  
- You and your co-workers decide to go to rival or competitor and say "We're taking over!"  
- You're getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.  
- You walk into church and slap people's hands in the pews while walking down the aisle.  
- Your method for testing whether fruit is ripe consists of smashing it across someone's forehead.  
- You giggle when someone says they've got a 'job' to do.  
- You've learned all your dance steps from Shawn Michaels and Alex Wright.  
- You get déjà vu playing "Mortal Kombat." ("Fatality. Glacier wins.")  
- You find yourself waiting for Jeff Foxworthy to slop drop an audience member.  
- You watch the news and wonder if the 'extremely graphic images' were done by blading, capsule or hardway.  
- You deliver 1 Diamond Cutter, 2 Stone Cold Stunners, and 1DDTonto a binder all before Social Class starts  
- When called up to the board at class, you call the teacher a fat ass, kick her in gut, and apply the "Stone cold Stunner"! Then Show her she's number Two (i.e. with both fingers) and walk back to your desk with your  
arms in the air.  
- When called up to the board you stand up at the board, put your left arm straight out and cup your ear with your right hand and listen for the reaction. Then, rip your shirt off...  
- Every time you walk into a meeting, you clap your hands over your head singing, American Males  
- You refuse to go to work unless they let you wear a dog collar and play Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" in the background  
- Whenever you see a guy with two girls, you run up to him and ask, "What do you have to say, Dreamer?"  
- On a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown"  
- You challenge someone to a fight while wearing a mask, hoping they won't know it's really you  
- You try to pick up girls by doing the nWo 'Look at my crotch' gesture.  
- You power bomb your mom through the dinner table.  
- After an argument with a friend, you shake hands, hug each other and then after you raise both yours and your friend's arms in the air, as he looks to the side, you clothesline him.  
- When you put up your wife or girlfriend up in a card game for30 days if you lose.  
- If you are a hair stylist and you put the person in a sleeper before you cut their hair  
- When you have two...TWO TV's set up right next to each other so you can catch both Raw and Nitro.  
- You start your own "rival" company at work, call yourself the "Outsiders", recruit the President and declare in a board meeting "Jou want a WAR? Jou gawt one Chico!"  
- You carry around a tape recorder and before you say something you press play and it says:  
This message has been paid for by the new world order or web world order  
- You start pile driving your pen with your fingers  
- You meet a wrestler once and then call him your friend.  
- You get into a fight at a USWA show over who was the better Mulkey Brother.  
- You start to believe that you're sleeping with Terri Runnels.  
- You spend sleepless nights trying to figure out if Flash and Jimmy Jack are related to Terry and Dory Jr.  
- You look on People search for Randy and Bill Mulkey  
- You are involved in a bar fight with a guy twice your size and you think your best line of attack is putting the Tongan death grip on him.  
- You look for Sting on the back of the milk carton during breakfast.  
- You search & search the bible for the book of Austin.  
- You hit your ex boyfriend/husband with a high heel  
- You start discussing who the jobbers/JTTS are in other sports  
- You're trying to pick up a girl and you ask if she wants to go for a ride on Space Mountain...  
- You found yourself marking out because the Braves had to job to the Mets on the last two games of the season......  
- After you ask for a Big Mac at McDonald's, you yell "ANDTHAT'S AN ORDER!"  
- You call your group of friends a stable  
- You go to a dance and start dancing like Alex Wright.  
- In Chemistry, your friend drops a chemical on himself and you yell "He's Hardcore!"  
- You try to figure out everyone's gimmick at Halloween.  
- When a guy steals your girl, you consider it an angle.  
- When there's a fight and you "mark out."  
- You make a speech at work and you end it with "Quote the Raven...Nevermore".  
- You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask.  
- You get fired from work and go over to the competition, walking in the front and saying "YO! You know who I am, but don't know why I'm here!"  
- You Stone Cold Stunner the manager before leaving  
- When, in school, a teacher tells you to be quiet or do your work and you say, say what ya want, cause I really don't give a damn and stone cold stunner him\her and yell in front of the class, cause stone cold said so  
and that's the bottom line!  
- You see Barbie and Ken and start wondering why Eric Bischoff is with Sable in the same box.  
- When your friend falls down, you drop an elbow on him.  
- Your Idea of good sex is wrestling your loved one 2 out of 3falls  
- You are refereeing a sporting event and just as someone is cheating you turn your head  
- You drop your buddy head first to pile drive the cement.  
- You and some of your friends invade the local church beat up the pastor until a few months later he takes your side.  
- You go to a bingo hall and chant ecw ecw ecw or bingo just for the hell of it  
- You say ass every time you get an interview.  
- You add spikes to your football shoulder pads.  
- You paint yourself like a crow and don't talk to anyone for a year.  
- You keep waiting for Jerry Lawler to be in a Parkay commercial.  
- You know more about the wrestler than your own family.  
- You wonder when max mini takes a bath if uses a lifejacket.  
- You give enemies the figure 4 leg lock around a goal post.  
Your teacher asks you about the new world order and the four horsemen and instead of answering historical facts you put up 4fingers and then chop your pelvis.  
- You paint your face talk about powers of the universe run-around the block shaking fences before you have fight.  
- Your idea of computer dating is downloading sunny.  
- You call yourself the stunner.  
- When ever you see free Willy you yell Paul bearer.  
- You think the Godwins were in deliverance.  
- You shave your head grow a goatee and give your boss the stunner because you injure your self on the job.  
- Your boss says he has a job for you to do and you lie down waiting for him/her to cover you for three seconds.  
- During an episode of ER you chant we want blood we want blood.  
- You kiss your TV whenever Sunny, Sable, Marlena or Kimberly is on.  
- You think about bodyslamming Santa Clause.  
- You yell whooo before you talk to anyone.  
- You call your best friend your cousin.  
- You are MC-ing a fundraiser and welcome everyone while yelling at the top of your lungs  
- You go to taco bell and order a los buricous chilli platter...  
- You consider fighting in the school yard a steel cage match.  
- You can only count to three.  
- You think the movie Buddy is a biographical film on George Steele.  
- You name you son Hulk and your daughter Madusa (or the other way around)  
- You beat up Meter maids because they look like the big bossman  
- You go to IHOP to see if Dusty Rhodes is in the pancake eating hall of fame.  
- You start whooooing for no reason at all.  
- You notice the ken doll looks like Eric bischoff  
- You get a paper cut while dating sunny's picture.  
- You communicate more with people on the net more than your own family.  
- When you are sick you look up Dr. Harvey Wippleman.  
- You remember when Paul Bearer only had a couple of chins.  
- When you see a fat out of shape dumb guy with a beard and a 2*4and you yell hooo.  
- In the middle of the fight, you start to look to the crowd and start grunting and yelling to generate some heat!  
- You're watching a bar fight and someone gets cracked over the head with a chair, and you start chanting "ECW! ECW! ECW! ECW!  
- You like think the Nitro Girls can Dance.  
- You don't help your friend in a Bar fight because you're a "FREE AGENT"  
- You wear your big Styrofoam Macho Man cowboy hat in public.  
- You go to your little sister's softball game and start a "we want blood" chant.  
- You get into an argument with a friend at work and challenge him to a loser must retire match.  
- You're in a football game and before kicking off you strut across the field hoping the crowd will respond with "whooooooooo!"  
- You fly down to your office in a helicopter, jump off wearing jeans and the American flag, and bodyslam the fattest guy in the office...  
- You watch kids playing at recess and if two get into a fight, you yell, "He's hardcore!"  
- You can actually remember Stings last public words  
- You go to a Rage against the Machine concert and demand your money back when you don't hear "Degeneration X"  
- You turn off the lights to go to bed, then immediately hide in the closet for 5 minutes to make sure Kane doesn't get you.  
- You give your boss the Stone Cold Stunner and expect not to get fired.  
- When wearing your NWO t-shirt, you look up at the ceiling before entering a room, to make sure Sting isn't waiting for you.  
- You drove to Cleveland to find Cactus Jack in 1993.  
- You figure you don't need to waste your time entering the contest to win Austin's truck since you went out and bought one just like it last week.  
- You refer to yourself as "the showstopper"  
- When a co-worker wins an award you thought you should have, you either steal theirs or you go out and have your own made  
- You consistently put up your wife/girlfriend for 30 days when making bets.  
- You drive around to various softball fields looking for Sid.  
- You want to break into the business by landing a part in the next WCW mini-movie.  
- You call WCW asking for information on taking classes from Professor Mike Tenay.  
- You have no rhythm and don't know how to dance, so when you go to parties you get drunk and try to dance like Alex Wright or the Disco Inferno  
- You carry an American flag with you everywhere you go  
- You wear a mask to work  
- You tell everyone who disagrees with you to "suck it"  
- You demand that they play your entrance music when you come into a room  
- You shake hands with a friend and give him/her a short clothesline  
- You get the urge to dive through a table (poor me....)  
- When you get an "F" on a test in Spanish class, you spit on your teacher, punch him/her, then start complaining about screwjobs. Shortly thereafter, you transfer to French class.  
- You start complaining about the dorky kids in gym class always jobbing to the jocks.  
- You refuse to take tests unless they are no DQ.  
- Whenever there are other people in the bathroom, you start beating the crap out of them with the bathroom fixtures.  
- You think Debra McMichael is a natural blonde.  
- You start giving yourself weird hair styles.  
- You start giving people the Rocky Maivia stare  
- You sit around a computer reading a newsgroup about wrestling.

 ...You walk into a room you walk in saying "Finally (name here) has come back to place here!!"

 ...You take a drink of water, you spit all over your head instead of swallowing it.

 ...You find pimpin' extremely hard and time consuming ^_^

 ...You've actually shopped for a 6-pack of "whoop ass"

 ...Your sister brings home her new boyfriend and you shout at her "Slut, slut, slut!"

 ...Ya tried to impress ya peeps on da dance floo' by doin' da Worm, yo!

 ...You realize that mesh tops and UFOs never looked so damn good!

 ...You add "z" to the end of any plural words instead of "s"

 ...You begin your presentations in school by saying "Right here in this very room...."

 ...You have a new found love of Canada, and all things Canadian

 ...You begin to watch the Olympics....

 ...You remember when the Undertaker was the American _Dead_Ass... (AKA his Ministry days)

 ...You've noticed many wrestlers are compared to animals (exs. Y2J- Lion, Benoit- Wolverine, SCSA- Rattle Snake, Kane- Fiery Kitty from Hell _(All right maybe only in my mind),_ RhYno- man beast, Raven...well.... Raven....

 ...You stroke your "invisible beard" like Benoit

 ...And you're a female

 ...You are thinking or pondering something, you unconscious put your hand to your chin a la Crash Holly

 ...Speaking of Crash.... You think you're 400 pounds... Oooo Cheap shot!

 ...A teacher tells you to go up to the blackboard, you take you're time and strut your stuff like one of Godfather's ho or Nitro Girl

 ...You've tried to do the Y2J hair thing (that thing that he does where he is about to step into the ring and flips his hair from side-to-side)

 ...You have compared the asses of Benoit and Jericho _*looks over at Tracy and laughs*_

 ...You think that the fact Undertaker has a wife, that that kills the entire "Deadman Inc." mystic

 ... You remember when DDP was feuded with Raven

 ...You remember when Raven was allowed on the TV and not on crappy Heat shows

 ...You've tried to fix your hair up like Jericho had in the beginning of his wwf career

 ...You (as a female) try to grow your hair out like your favourite WWF Superstar :)

 ...You consider yourself a Diva... and wonder why everyone laughs when you say you are....

 ...You go to a concert and when the lead singer starts talking about how good it is to be in the state... you automatically think to yourself that he is 'such a face'!

 ...You like milk

 ...You buy your own gold medals from the 50 cent machine

 ...You've gored your sister in the parking lot of a fancy restaurant... twice...

 ...You're read slash just because it was the only thing you could find that mentioned your fav wrestling Superstar....

 ...Even though you HATE Abercrombie and Finch clothing (Damn song) you saw a shirt that said "chugging Rhino" and you try to buy the shirt off the kid....

 You watch TV and see people who look like wrestlers (Dude! That lady from Weakest Link, so totally looked like Stephanie!)....

 .... You believe the Pepsi Girl (that little girl that you're friends find annoying) is Matt Hardy's illegitimate daughter.... Just look! It's true!

 ...Your just waiting for one of your friends to snap... kinda like Angle and Austin...._(and Christian! *tear*)_

 ...You try to say 'Jeff Foxworthy' and all you can stutter out is 'Jeff Hardy'....and your mother looks at you weirdly.....

 ...Your friend talks about her little baby Pagues (from Hercules) and all you can think about is a certain Wild Pegasus... *glances at Tracy and laughs*

 ...You place you're X-Men dolls into the same kind of moves and positions of you're favourite WWF Superstar... (Hey look! Gambit is humping the ground just like Edge!! Awwwww!)

 ...You attack your friends from behind with a chair, and look around the room, waiting for crowd reaction.

 ...You have been rushed to the ER because you swallowed the green dye you were planning on spitting in a classmates face...twice....

 ...You read about what to do when a tooth is knocked out in Health class and you start to laugh.

 ...You read about gapped tooth smiles, in the all ready mentioned Health book, and giggle for a good five minutes.

 ... (You know, this Health book is pretty funny) you're reading about childhood burns in class and you laugh at loud and people look at you. :: Like Kane! Like Kane!

 ...In Chemistry you find yourself writing 'icon' instead of 'ion' :)

 ...You won't EVER eat Keibler cookies ever again until the WWF writers go into details of Spike/Stacy's past!!

 ...You are going to see Rollerball

 ...You tell friends (non-wrestling friends) that you're going to see Rollerball, 'cuz Bradshaw loves the girl and they just look at you funny...

 ...You saw Dude Where's My Car? (Remember when he came on?! I do!)

 ...You're going to see Men in Black 2 (Cuz of RVD *twitch*)

 ...You yelled at the Undertaker when he cut his pretty red hair!!!

 ...You think that the people in you classes are scary, until you talk to them and realize that they like wrestling too! Now they are your bestest best friends (but, your not going to bring them home to meet your parents... unless you have a death wish...)

 ...You've made your family into fans (like my 5 year old cousin who loves Lance Storm *nods*)

 ...Your chem teacher keeps talking about 'atom' but because the teacher has an accent and because you're looking at Edge pictures as he's talking (instead of listening and 'learning) .....So you think he's saying 'Adam' and you keep on looking up and going, "Huh? Where?!"

 ...speaking of Edge... In Spanish... You've made up a family. They're name? La familia de Copeland.....

 ...You go to Hot Topic and search for the exact same trench coat you saw Edge wear on Raw! (And your mom almost let you get it!)

 ... You stick out your butt and chest and always yell, "You know you want some T and A!" (and then wonder why people clutch their eyes and scream 'I'm blind! I'm blind!')

 ...You tried to burn you brother so that he could be more like Kane

 ...You make signs to hold up in front of your television screen while watching wrestling

 ...You're Christmas list contained everything in the WWF catalogue.

 ...You've drank beer with The Sandman in the safety of your own home.

 ...You look on a map for Dudleyville.

 ...You wonder how many years of bad luck Steve Austin has due to the start of his theme music.

 ...You almost open a email that says MamaJama.... cuz you think it's Jericho... even though in the subject line it clearly states 'XXX' ....


End file.
